The Call of the Cheekbones

As, McCain-y as McCain is, we here at Chertoff's Fabulous Bone Structure, your number one source for information regarding politicians' cheekbones, understand why he chose self-proclaimed "pitbull with lipstick" Sarah Palin as his running mate. She's a solid 8 on the Chertoff Cheekbone Scale©! Up there with effin' Perino!

Now, whether of not you're for or against Palin's alleged book burnings, there is no denying that with her on the McCain ticket, she'll help boost his bone structure status, and thus garner more votes for the GOP. Remember, before Palin (BP), McCain was hovering alone in Mickey Rooney territory, a big-jowled zero on the CCS©. Palin is turning his ticket around and we know it's certainly not because of her smarts. It's her Chertoff-esque bone structure! Trust us, we've conducted a scientific poll at the CFBS headquarters. We know what we're talking about. Sort of. Whatever. We want candy.