Foot in His Cheek

Although we have no opinions on politicians other than how structured their cheekbones are over here at CFBS, we must admit Vice Prezidential nominee Sen. Joe Biden (D-Del.) makes us smile. He's got a big ass mouth and we love that. And his voice, unlike a certain Alaskan, doesn't make us want to stab ourselves in the inner ear drum with a chisel sharper than a Chertoff cheek -- butt cheek, that is, so you know that shit would be sharp. (He's a skinny bitch!)

What's not that sharp, however (although compared to Chertoff's bone structure, not much is), are Biden's mular bones. Yeah, his cheek bones, unfortunately, are not as entertaining as his verbal gaffes. However, he still clocks in at a respectable 6.5 on the Chertoff Cheekbone Scale©. So, he does OK for himself, especially paired with B.O. -- and, for once, we ain't talkin' 'bout body odor! We're talking about Barack Obama, who gives Heir Chertoff a run for his bone structure fabulousness, meaning Joe and Bar combined average out at a pretty well-rounded 8.75 on the a CCS©.

Doing some highly scientific calculating of the GOP candid8s, we find Palin (a CCS© 8) and McCain (a CCS© 0), er, McCain and Palin (our bad) clocking in at a lowly 4. Unless they add the zygomatic power of the one and only Chertoff to the mix, we think the Democrats have this one in the [douche]bag. Regardless, we at CFBS will keep our ears to the streets and our eyes to the cheeks. It's called the truth and it's all we know.