Cheekbones of Change

Barack Obama has run on a platform of change. While we don't know if it will be successful since politicians generally h8 change, we know one thing for certain -- Obama has the power to flip the Chertoff Cheekbone Scale© on its...on its...uh, other side? Whatever. You get what we mean.

Anychiseledcheekbones, let's return to Obama. Have you seen his bone structure? It's like a gift straight from the zygomatic gods. Wait! Scratch that! It's not like a gift; it is a gift. It's a gift we here at CFBS are thankful for each and every day.

The current holder of the Mr. Fabulous Bone Structure title, however, one Michael Chertoff, Esq., may not be so thankful. After all, Obama is poised to become the most powerful holder of fabulous cheekbones in all the Free World. So, what's a slight man to do?

Normally, we'd suggest Chertoff drop a few pounds in order to really accentuate those bones, but while starving yourself for better bone structure is encouraged here at CFBS, we can't advise such a tactic for Chertoff. Maintaining cheekbones sharp enough to cut any terrorist is a top priority around here, but so is, ya know, stayin' physically alive and stuff. Chertoff is but a wee, sliver of a man. We want to dine on grilled cheese and freedom fries with him and his fabulous bone structure, not encourage manorexia. Oh Chertoff! You know you're cheekbones will always be a 10 to us!

But Obama? Obama's cheekbones are a frickin' 11! If that ain't hope, we don't know what is...