Battle of the Pauls

vs.












It may not look like it at first, but this competition is FIERCE! On the left, Republican presidential candidate and Interweb sensation Ron Paul. On the right, self-proclaimed "Supermodel of the World" and 1990s sensation RuPaul. Let's battle!

Round 1: RuPaul, who's 6'7", sashés over and starts to vogue. Ron Paul, an OB/GYN by profession, attempts to deliver a baby from RuPaul. "You better work!" Unfortunately, there was no work to be done... Winner: RuPaul

Round 2: Ron Paul, who's wearing comfort shoes, goes Muhammad Ali on RuPaul's ass, who's wearing typical 8" tranny heels -- not the best in which to spar. "Float like a butterfly, and sting like tax hike, bitch!" Winner: Ron Paul

It all comes down to Round 3, the Chertoff Cheekbone Scale: RuPaul is a solid 9; Ron Paul, on the other hand, barely clocks in at a 5. He may be the "Champion of the Constitution," but he certainly isn't champion of the CSS©. Luckily for Ron Paul, he doesn't need Chertoffesque bone structure perfection to be our honorary grandfather! When can we go fishing?!